Things that intrigue me

It was a big debate today- more political babble or a conversation with myself about friendship. Tough decision but in the end I decided politics can wait, friendships are more fun to talk about!

So I've been thinking a lot lately about the e-mail that goes around every now and again talking about how friends can come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. The older I get, the more I realize how very true that is. I've also come to realize recently that sometimes the reason or season friends can go away for a while but then come back.

Thinking back to grade school, I think most of the friends I had were "reason" friends with one or two "season" friends. I was never a particularly popular kid so in grade school most of my friends were from my Camp Fire group. I remember going to their birthday parties and inviting them to mine but we typically grew apart as we headed toward middle school where there were more kids with different interests and we started to explore our own individuality. Again, through the years, friendships were made then faded but we all filled a role for a time when something was needed in each of our lives. The one friend who really stuck from that time period was Lesley. I think I spent more weekend time at her house than my own from 2nd grade through about my junior year of high school. It was a long season and I enjoyed every minute of it but by the end of high school we grew apart- different interests and different groups of friends just took us in different directions in life. I'm still sad sometimes that we didn't stay close and in fact, when her dad passed away unexpectedly my senior year of college, I opted to go home for his funeral instead of staying on campus for one of our biggest "play" weekends of the year. That was probably the first realization I had turned into a grown up, but that's a story for another day. My mom still runs into Lesley's mom from time to time and gives me updates but it feels like a chapter of my life was closed and I still haven't decided how I feel about that.

Then came college. Definitely some of the best days I've had as I look back. Through a weird twist of fate, I ended up on the same floor of the same dorm as the one other girl from my high school class that went to St Norbert. Neither of us found any particular fascination in each other's presence initially but it didn't take long before we became lifetime friends. She was Zig and I became Zag and together we had a blast. Even if I wanted to, there would be no breaking up with Zig because she knows where all the bodies are buried! Met a lot of other really great friends in the process, too and even though we don't see or hear enough of each other, I think most of my college friends will always play some role in my life in a way that the grade school through high school friends never did.

After college I started Civil War reenacting thanks to one of those college friends. Since joining the Civil War community I've made friends from all walks of life- people I'd otherwise never have known but who have enriched my life with their presence. I see more of them than I do my family so that's probably a good thing! Reenacting also brought one of my closest friends from college back into my life and strengthened a friendship that's become one of my biggest blessings in life.

Then of course is what might be the "strangest" group of friends I have- my Internet buddies. Once upon a time, life lead me to Baby Center, first looking for all the information I could find on trying to get pregnant, then support after a miscarriage and eventually support for infertility. It's the last 2 groups where I met some of my most valued friends. Even though some of us have only met once, a couple 2 or three times, I still consider them among my closest friends in life. A few have come and gone, each filling a reason or lasting a season where we could support each
other through a difficult time but then we moved on to other things, but some- man I plan to haunt them until I'm too old and senile to remember who I am let alone them! Oddly enough, anonymity also allowed each of us to open up to the point where we all know where each other's bodies are buried, too... That could be trouble some day! LOL

Then comes the friendship that, well, baffles me most lately, one of my roommates my senior year at SNC. We were friends from the freshman year dorm experience, never necessarily close, but one thing led to another and she became one of 4 in our apartment that year. You know how some people can't be married but they can be friends, well it turns out we could be friends but we couldn't live together. Senior year was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs and when all was said and done, I was quite certain the season for that friendship had passed and I walked away not really interested in looking back. Fast forward 10 years to our upcoming class reunion. We reconnected, somewhat grudgingly on my end I must admit, but in the end we both realized that shit that happened 10 years ago was no longer worth harboring ill will over- we both grew up a lot and found our paths in life and it was actually a rather refreshing and exciting thing to sooth old wounds and start talking again. Recently we've been doing more talking and I can honestly say I hope we're able to continue that. We shared some really good times during our 4 years of college and that is far more important than the the petty crap that made me walk away 12 years ago (damn, has it really been that long?).

So yeah, I'm waxing nostalgic today. Thankful that even though life hasn't always given me what I want, it's always given me what I need in the form of friends who've gotten me through the good days and the bad. I am grateful for each and every one of the friendships I've made, especially the ones I still consider sisters today. Life just wouldn't be the same without you